day four

i'm actually writing this on day five, so i guess i'll post two today so i don't fall behind!

i've been starting my days like this:
- sadie wakes me up at 8am
- i slowly get up, take her for a potty walk
- come back in, feed her
- start the kettle and brush my teeth
- make my pour over
- drink coffee while reading (right now i'm hurrying to finish Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine before it gets returned to the digital library)
- maybe write a journal entry for the day and try to plan a few things to do, though this feels pointless
- play stupid design home game on my phone for half an hour
- get on my laptop and check emails/read articles/try to stay off reddit
- end up reading stuff on internet until about noon
- finally wash my face

i can't say i'm happy with that routine. i know i could be more productive or work on something meaningful. i "should" do an exercise routine instead of sitting around, learn a new skill, organize something, plan something big, make art, etc. etc. etc. there are a lot of things that would be a better use of my time, but part of me also keeps saying, "why bother? you could be stuck inside with no job for months! the whole world is on pause so why not you?" it's strange and unhelpful. i'm trying not to be too judgmental, since just a couple weeks ago i posted something about wishing time would stop for a little so i can catch up on stuff that i've been wanting to do instead of going to work for 8 hours of my day. ha! be careful what you wish for!

besides, i DO get exercise. i'm walking more than ever, getting fresh air, and when dillon works out i usually join him. it's just kind of sporadic right now. i usually don't feel like working out but i will vow to keep doing those back exercises that i found because my desire to be less bony and weak is stronger than my dislike of spending time lifting weights. plus, i can TELL my thighs/butt have increased slightly in size. i'm not sure i like that very much. now i have to do more squats :( i really think this is proof that my body is aging. i never thought it would happen to me!

yesterday.... what did i do? after sadie's first walk we went out again before noon on a longer stroll to the park and back. i ate leftover soup, i finished Uncut Gems by myself while dillon was still sleeping, played Cities: Skylines for a while, and instead of cooking i finally ordered takeout! i know local restaurants are facing hard times right now and i wanted to try the vegan restaurant in downtown ann arbor so i got some buffalo cauliflower, general tso's tofu fried rice, and a buffalo salad bowl. everything was very good and we couldn't even finish all of it. it was really nice to not have to clean up after dinner this time, though we still have a little pile of dishes left from the day before that still need to be washed. i didn't let it bother me like it usually does and that felt good.