“This should be enough,” I tried to convince myself. I had an enjoyable day job that provided financial stability and time for creative pursuits. So what if I wasn’t fully convinced this was the right path? But the urge to seek only grew. I dug into personality tests like MBTI and Enneagram, journaled, meditated, and read self-help books—all things that I had explored in previous times of seeking and were incredibly fun to explore. I thought if “soul searching” were a job, I would do it in a heartbeat.
Of course, it wasn’t a job in itself. But could there be something there? If the act of seeking was so enjoyable, could I make that my reason for being? Perhaps I would keep searching for what I was meant to do for many more years of my life, but I could learn to embrace the spiral instead of resenting that I hadn’t reached an answer yet. In the meantime, I could talk about my desire to keep digging and find other people similarly compelled to define and refine their career path in the pursuit of meaningful work. If the main constant in myself was a compulsion to seek, then I could make that the theme of what I would create.
how perfectly happy I would be if Seeker could be my job title! just gonna be thinking about this for a while and, in the meantime, earnestly following along with Modern Doing for some enlightenment.
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