i did something but didn't commit

made me smile

https://austinkleon.com/2020/05/11/give-yourself-a-little-present/

it me

"Some people tell me they have all these great ideas, and they just can’t get it together enough to make them happen. I am envious of these people, because I do not feel full of great ideas. I have plenty of faith in my ability to do something with a great idea, should I have one, but what I do not have is any faith in my ability to actually generate that great idea. I spend almost all of my time trying to have an idea worth doing something about."

spring might finally be here (maybe)

made it to may! may has always been an exciting month for me, just because i get to think "summer is next" every day. i love the spring with all the blooming flowers and trees and the promise of new growth and lots of sunshine to make up for the last few months spent without much of it.

i'm thinking a lot about mother's day gift ideas and after aaaaalmost hitting "submit order" a handful of times and doing the delivery date math, i gave up. 11 days early is just a little too late this year. i also know i don't need to spend $60 on a chicken pie to be delivered. i decided i might as well make something myself, or rely on local restaurants (since i've decided i want my gifts to be food this year as everyone is tired of cooking by now). also i have to think about tom's birthday in a few days! more food? i would like to try something from the kim-joy cookbook that isn't a cake.

i just got back from a long walk with sadie through the golfside neighborhood. i love when we get to the hilly streets with all its old trees and 1970's style houses. every time i see a cute house i get a twinge of jealousy. is it jealousy? sort of. i guess it's more like a yearning. all of a sudden i'm finding myself wanting to buy a house so badly. i want my own place to garden and fix up and decorate and not have to think about escaping and moving again. i notice the houses that look like something dillon and i would choose: low, probably ranch-style, built in the 70's or 80's, plenty of shade trees and privacy from neighbors (but not too far from neighbors). my career path is so stuck right now and also, i feel, juvenile, that it's hard to believe i will ever buy a house. i know that people worse off than me have bought, but i don't want to be stuck in a huge debt situation. oh well, this is not the time to think about things like this.

anyway, i liked this house and its yard: