discoveries

Will you please just look at this album cover? It's a painting by Becky Suss. She is officially my new favorite. I just wish I could follow more of her work and process online. I want to paint interiors, too!!

The album is called Hundreds of Days by the harpist Mary Lattimore and it came to me at the most perfect time. Every time I've put on music lately nothing felt right - I was just annoyed or in a weird mood. These peaceful sounds surprisingly fit the bill for when I'm alone.

answer this question

What have you done 100 times in the last year? Those are the things determining the course of your life — adjust accordingly.

Ho boy. Let's answer this question, shall we?

- looked at my phone
- entertained negative thoughts
- doubted myself
- chose to sit around instead of work on my personal projects
- held back from saying what I really wanted to say
- felt guilty
- cared a lot about what other people would think


I can't think of anything positive that I've done over and over again that would actually make a difference in my life. I've taken over 100 pictures I'm sure, but they're currently sinking to the bottom of my Instagram feed. Progress needs action. I believe it's time to adjust.





This question came from these 20 things to think about. I love this list. Bookmarked.

still looking

We applied for a house that we both LOVED. It was perfect. Then our application got accepted! Then they let someone else apply who offered to pay more. Then we lost the house. Now we're still looking.

after uta barth

I've been shooting film lately and decided to start a little project that's sort of an "After Uta Barth" series. She is one of my favorite photographers and I'd like to see if this is the direction I end up taking my work. A part of me wants to make fuzzy photos that look like abstract paintings.

I've already learned that I can't simply shoot pictures out of focus and expect them to be frame-worthy. So I'm trying to focus on making sure little pops of color are included, like the tiny bit of hot pink in the photo above. Composition also is very important. If they were paintings that's pretty much all I would have to think about: color and composition. But since they are indeed photographs I think subject matter comes more into play here. I love interiors, but I have been shooting outdoors as well. We'll see how I feel about those when I get the next roll developed.

back in my room

Whew, I'm so happy to have my computer back up and running. It was out of order for about a month and a half since the power supply died out of nowhere. I really got to see the difference in how I spent my time without a computer in my room. Mostly I laid on my bed scrolling through my tiny phone screen. Sometimes I read a little. Sometimes I journaled a bit. But mostly I was just passing as little time as possible before I went back over to Dillon's. I hated being home. I had no music to play over my speakers, drowning the rest of the house out. I couldn't comfortably watch something on youtube, and I felt completely useless when it came to consuming anything worthwhile or actually CREATING something myself. I was not about to type out a blog post on my phone. My room became so drab and lifeless. It magically turns into my haven when my computer is running. The option of background noise is nice, and I guess I like knowing that the whole world is just a foot away, at my fingertips.

So now that I'm back, I should be able to do this more regularly. I'm back to devouring anything that could possibly inspire my work, and I can actually bring ideas to fruition as soon as I think of them (or at least try one out and see how it feels glaring back at me from the computer screen.)

I love my computer. I feel connected to it, because I BUILT it, myself! My whole world is on it. And even though I lost everything I had (kinda hate you, Windows), I don't feel much loss at all. I'm glad I'm starting over. I couldn't think of anything that I will severely miss. Any bookmarks I had saved I will probably come across again, but even if I don't I needed the cleanse anyway. I think it's obvious by now that I'm a sucker for new starts, no matter how small.

how to not worry about dinner every single day

As a woman who recently entered her late twenties, acquired a *real* job with regular hours (well, almost. I don't work Fridays!), is working on making big life changes, and also happens to be a big PLANNER and ORGANIZER, I've been sucked into the whole meal planning "hack". I hesitate to call it a hack because I think - at this point in my life anyway - it has only made everything about eating more stressful for me.

I try to make meals that both D and I can eat because his new job has him working long, exhausting hours, and he never really was one to plan his meals or take care of himself in that way. I eat healthy and vegan, he is neither of those things. This is where I thought planning everything out would help, but too often I fail to get to the store, or the meals I do plan and prepare for end up being too daunting on a weeknight after work and other responsibilities. I was always wondering HOW other people do it??? Especially people who work more or have kids and seem to still have enough time to enjoy a few weeknights out?? When I'm done with all my needs for the day it's like 9pm and I need to start getting ready for bed. I try my best to keep dinner simple, but at the same time I plan a new meal for every single night! Ha! Sometimes I just can't be bothered.

This is where I blew my own mind: yesterday I realized if I just made lunch my biggest meal of the day, I bet it would take a lot of pressure off dinner. I could just eat a little bit of whatever, and if I DO end up having more energy, then I can go ahead and make a nice meal that will also provide me with some leftovers. DUH. Now I will say that I have sometimes had trouble scrounging up some food for a decent work lunch (I almost never buy lunch), but I just feel like I am more likely to be content eating a bunch of whatever I've got. A sandwich, fruit, leftovers, big salad, store-bought meals, etc. I'm going to try this out from now on and see if I can get myself to where I'm not completely STARVING at dinner time. If I don't prepare ahead of time for lunch one day, I won't feel as bad going out and getting something as lunch out is always cheaper than a dinner out!